Its A Long Story

dragons-and-gays:

the most life-changing customer i’ve ever had at work was a guy who came up to me and my coworker when we were at cash and said ‘hey kids…. wanna see something?’

and I said sure because why the fuck not, i’m here for a good time not a long time, and this motherfucker pulled a railroad spike out of his pocket.

A GODDAMN

ANTIQUE

RAILROAD

SPIKE

It was a fucking foot long chunk of steel that weighed about five pounds on its own so i was like ‘huh….. neat’

and he said ‘wait. there’s more’ and he took out a screwdriver. inlaid into the head of the spike. ‘things aren’t always as they appear’ he said as he unscrewed the bit and pulled out of this goddamn railroad spike

a statue

a tiny, tiny golden statue stood on the base of this flathead screw. it was a tiny golden man standing next to a tiny golden flower with gemstones in the petals. the whole thing was smaller than my thumbnail is tall. it was detailed enough that the tiny man had facial features. it was amazing.

‘oh my god,’ i said. ‘how long did it take you to make that?’

‘here’s a word of advice,’ he said, ‘never answer that question when people ask it. it devalues your work. you’ll get faster and better at things, and be able to make more art in less time. they don’t need to know about the process, just the product’.

and he left and that’s the one artistic piece of advice i definitely wanna hold to.

don’t tell people how long it takes to make shit.

(via aviaviator)

memattbe:

Lmao at this lesbian cable worker who said this right in front of Dick Cheney when fixing his internet. What a hero.

(via pakray)

abracafuku:

underrated mbmbam moment: when travis got a new dog and talked about wanting to give her a website like the one he has for his other dog (buttercupisaverygoodgirl.com) then realised if he wanted lilyisaverygoodgirl.com he needed to race justin at that exact moment for it and he franticly starts trying to buy it but finds that it exists already and redirects to justins twitter and its then revealed justin bought it the day travis got the dog

(via tryforce)

sharingtoast:

(via nonbinarykravitz)

thevoidfish:

tmos-time:

Oh noooooooo! The mystery is solved! You’ve solved my final riddle, you are ze new riddle master... Congratulations… You have proven yourselves... quite the adventurers... oh, I’ve landed on Bryan- Bryan, ahhh… Bryan, I’m so proud of zem… I’m going to die now... My life is flagging from my body... I’ll see my family... goodbye cruel worrrrld-

iconic

(via mothmanwashere)

treygotguap:

I hate small talk get to the point.. wtf u want

(via imransuleiman)

lostsometime:

Is it possible that affecting an exaggerated voice of some kind is just Elf Culture in the world of the adventure zone?  because it seems like it’s not just taako. when the boys meet elves, talking in a natural register is the exception, not the rule.

with lup, it could just be “oh that’s a family trait,” but Magic Brian, Edward, and Lydia all have very similar vocal patterns. And Jenkins, who I almost forgot was also an elf until I relistened, has a different but equally ridiculous voice.

all i’m saying is, maybe taako wasn’t goofing when he said he was glad to hear magic brian “talk normally”

(via kingdomoftyto)